Another love
by CampbellE
Summary: AU - Naomi is a tortured artist with a self destructive personally. Emily is a beautiful contemporary dancer, with the biggest heart. It was love at first site but Naomi's been broken, and Emily needs to put her back together. Will love be enough?
1. Your body's a canvas

**A/N - ****This story is kinda different, very angst and drama filled, there are mentions of substance abuse and some violence, so fair warning. It's about love, but that doesn't mean it's perfect, far from it. " Tom Odell - Another love " is a song I think fits this story perfectly, give it a listen and be sure to watch the music video, it will give you a picture of what the story's about. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own skins**

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><p>Her legs are wrapped so tightly around your waist, holding you, as if, when she lets go, you will float away and leave her there all by her self. And she couldn't have that, so she clings on even tighter, as your plunging your fingers deep inside of her , rubbing her clit, her deep guttural moans like music to your ears. You've been resting your head in the crook of her neck for a while now, sucking and nibbling on the skin from time to time , but she pushing you up, like she always does when she's about to cum. She wants to look into your eyes, just before she can't hold hers open anymore. It's too intimate for you, but you do it anyway, for her, because it's what she needs, she needs to know you're there with her, present in this moment she want's to share with you, only ever you. She knows you, she knows that you disappear from time to time, even when you're right in front of her. She misses you when you go to that little place in your head, the place where she can't come running after you like she always does, there's no room for her there anyway, she taken up enough space in your heart.<p>

You're looking at her now, sweat dripping down her face, her cherry red hair clinging to her forehead, she looking right back, with such warmth and pure adoration, that you can't handle, so you turn away from her quickly, but she stops you, grabbing your face gently, so your looking at her again, her chest is heaving as she tries to slow down her heart rate, in her post orgasmic state. She licks her lips, and pull you down to them. She kisses you then, so softly it makes your stomach flutter, it deepens quickly than, because you can't help but taste her, dipping your tongue into her mouth, massaging. You pull away than, feeling light headed, she's still gazing at you with such love, so you free yourself from her legs grip, and roll onto your back, leaving quite a space between you.

You reach over, to grab a fag from your nightstand, not bothering to offer the red head one, knowing she doesn't smoke. You put the fag between your lips and click the lighter a few times before shaking it and trying again. Finally it ignites, and you breathe in the nicotine you so desperately craved. You glance over to the redhead in your bed, to find her already looking at you, intently. You turn away lifting yourself up in to sitting position, so you can lean against the headboard to finish your fag. You know she still watching you, and it's bothering you, her attention, she always looking at you, as if making sure you don't go anywhere, it makes you feel needed, but it also makes you feel trapped. And that makes you sick.

" Stop staring at me, Emily" You snap, fed up with the eyes glued to your profile.

" I will look at you all I want, Naomi " the redhead says firmly, just as frustrated as you, but for a different reason entirely.

" Why don't you just fuck off already" You say, harshly

" Excuse me?" She ask, narrowing her eyes angrily.

" You heard me, Ems, Fuck. Off." You repeat, causally, the uncaring persona shielding you.

She's sitting up now, looking you right in the eyes

"You don't get to treat me like that " She says so lowly , you could barely hear her, though you didn't miss the crack in her voice, or her wobbly bottom lip.

You hate yourself for hurting her, you're always managing to do that. You always pick a fight, trying to break her, get her to leave you, maybe for good this time. You are so fucking self destructive, and broken, that you don't understand why this beautiful, smart, talented and amazingly kind women, is with you, why no matter what you say or do, she always comes back to you. She's better than you in so many ways, making you feel so unworthy of her love. ' She deserves better' you constantly tell yourself, which is why you push her, trying to get her to end it because you know you're not strong enough to do it on your own.

You really can't contemplate what she see's in you, you're an unemployed artist, making chump money selling your paintings on the street, you live in a tiny one bedroom studio in london, which is a complete shit hole, pigsty, cluttered with unfinished canvases, and mountains of paint smear all over the place, paint brushes and dirty water water on every corner of the place. It's comforts you, you embrace the mess, but you can't understand why she does too.

Sometimes you look at her, when she's wearing one of your shirts and nothing else, standing barefoot in your tiny mess of a kitchen, where she's making you breakfast, even though you told her you don't want anything. She's always looking out for you, like your a child who can't take care of herself . And it's kinda true because if she didn't make you eat, you wouldn't for days. Because you get carried away, painting and when you're not painting your drinking.

You can paint for days on end, if you didn't need to sleep, you get this vision and once your paint brush hits the canvas you can't stop, because you don't just see it, you feel it, with every stroke, every detail, you're creating something beautiful, something that means something, something that matter. It's the only way you know how to express yourself, you communicate through your art. They keep you sane, otherwise you might burst.

You know you can be cold, unfeeling, distant. You know how much it hurts her when you're that way with her, but sometimes it's just how you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. You fight all the time, but it doesn't matter because you're like magnets, a force always brings you back together. Whether you're calling each other horrible names that you don't mean, telling each other how much you hate one another, it never last, you're making love by the end of the last harsh word. It may start off as an angry fuck, but by the end, it's lovely and gentle and forgiving. It's us.

So here you are once again, starting a fight. Because she can't look at you like your her whole world, and without you she doesn't exist. It's not fair to put that on a person. you don't want that power, your not worthy of it.

" Emily, just go alright, I don't want you here " You say, angry that she makes you feel this way.

" You wanted me just a second ago when you were fucking me! " she spit, viciously

" Yeah, well that's all you're good for, so fuck off, yeah?" you say, causal, trying to get to her

" Fuck you, Naomi" she spit, tears in her eyes, clearly very hurt, but she still hasn't moved.

" If you don't leave now, I'm going to make you, got it? So go, NOW! " You shout the last part, she shakes her head, crying softly now, crossing her arms over her naked chest.

" Fuck you." she whisper this time, so low it broke my heart a little.

I throw my feet off the bed, reach down to pick up my knickers and tank top with colorful paint smears all over it and throw it on me quickly, she watching me, nervously. I pick up her floral printed summer dress, and throw it at her hard , she too late to grab it and it hits her right in the face. She lets out another sob but not because it hurt.

" Get dressed, or you're fucking leaving in the nude" you yell at her, she's refusing to get dressed or let alone move, just shaking her head over and over, sobbing softly, whispering ' fuck you' over and over again.

That's it, you had enough, so you leapt forward, startling her, and grab on to her wrist as tightly as you can. She squeals and tries to get you off her but you won't budge.

" Get your fucking hands off me, you're hurting me" she crying and yelling at the same time.

" I warned you, Emily" you say, calmly " You just don't know how to fucking listen " you say a bit tempered, hating doing this to her, hating trying to make her hate you, but you're doing this for her, so you feel justified in it.

" I fucking hate you" She yells, still trying to yank her arm free, hitting yours in the process.

She doesn't mean it, you know that, but it still hurts you, even thought it's what you want. You know she means the opposite, otherwise she wouldn't be putting up such a fight. You yank a little harder to stop her from wiggling.

" Good " you say simply, again shielding yourself.

You get to you front door, which wasn't a long journey, and you ask one more time, handing her the dress she'd been wearing earlier.

" Last chance, Ems, are you going to put it on or not?" I raise my eyebrows at her, expectantly

She spits at you, quite literally, her saliva landing somewhere on your cheek, she glaring at you, furious. But after that move she's made you quite furious too.

" Al-righty than " you say, nodding your head once. You grab the doorknob with your free hand and twist it open, she started struggling again but it didn't matter, you're stronger than her and her fight is futile. Once the doors open you pull her into you from the hold you still have on her and turn her around wrapping your arms over her, so that her backside is leaning against your front.

" Stop... Naomi please... Fuck, just let me go.. ! She's screaming, afraid

" Out ya go, Emsy" you say unkindly, still angry that she spit in your face.

She gives a completely naked Emily a nice shove out the door, nice enough to make her lose her balance at bit, before catching it. You quickly shut the door but not before throwing her dress and knicker out of it. You look out the peephole of your door, just to make sure she leaves without anyone bothering her, even though there no one around.

You see's her still facing away from the door, her body's shaking though with silent sobs. She slowly turns around and picks up her knickers and slides them on, than her dress. She wipes her eyes and then begins to walk off quickly. You feel sick, you can't believe you just did that, been so cruel. You were being impulsive and now you just regret it like you always do.

you go to the fridge and pulls out a six pack of beer, planning to drink them all by nights end. You sit down in front of a white canvas and start to paint. You let all your feelings out on it, and by the time your finish you're exhausted, six beers not helping.

You lay down to bed, where your senses are filled with her. You drunkenly fall asleep wrapped in her scent, cuddling comfortably to her pillow. You hope she will see that this is all for her, that you just want her to be happy.

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><p><strong>AN - I really hoped you enjoyed! And I hope you listened and watch the music video, it a perfect description of this story. Next chapters going to be flashbacks of how they met!**


	2. You always hurt the ones you love

**A/N - A little bit more about the story just so you know where i'm coming from. This love that Naomi and Emily have here is anything but perfect, but that doesn't mean it's not true. They love each other through all their faults. They can't help it, they can't help but to always come back to each other even when it hurts because it hurt so much more to be apart. Naomi is fucked up, damaged goods, she has real problems, she's flawed. In the story it will get more into why she is this way, but until than understand that people can be horrible at times but it doesn't mean they're a horrible person. **

**Thank you, and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer : I don't own skins.**

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><p>You wake up with a pounding in your head and a knot in your stomach, and it's not just the hangover that's make you feel sick. The events of last night come flashing back to you, and it's all you can do not to empty the contents of your stomach right then and there. You went too far last night, you see that now, you never wanted to lay your hands on her, hurt her like that. You're disgusted with yourself, so when you enter the bathroom to wash up a bit, you can't even bare to look at yourself in the mirror, otherwise you might punch your reflection, and you don't wanna do that again.<p>

You could have woken up this morning like you always do, with your arm draped around her waist, her back to your front, holding her against you, inhaling her scent, she'd wake up a little after you and pull your hand from her stomach to her lips and kiss it gently, and then snuggle it against her chest, cuddling with it like a teddy bear, one she can't sleep without. She'd turn over, facing you after a few moments, and just smile softly at you, you'd always return it with a little half smile, because she does that to you, she makes you smile, and nobody but her can do that to you. She'd slide on top of you than, and kiss you ever so softly, before pulling away, sighing happily, whispering "good morning, my love" and then squeal and giggle when you flip her over and lay on top of her, resting your thighs between her legs, to give her a proper good morning, in the form of shagging.

But this morning you woke up alone, because you let things build up, and then one little thing she did, you exploded. You wanna be able to let her in but you don't know how. You need her, you know this, but you'd never admit it to her. You've never told her you love her, even though it's always at the tip of your tongue when she's around you. She on the other hand says it all the time, whenever she feels like it, and you'd have to be blind not to see the disappointment and hurt in her eyes when you don't return it, but then you kiss her, and she must feel your love radiate off your lips because she smiles at you, that smile that says, 'you can't hide anything from me, Campbell'. But you know she still wants to hear the words, have you confirm that you do in fact love her as much as she loves you. She deserves to hear them, and she will, you just don't know when.

You decide to go see her, you have to talk to her, apologize, otherwise you won't be able to live with yourself. You already miss her, miss those warm brown eyes that always find you in a crowd and that always look at you with such love and wonder, which is what got you in trouble in the first place. So you need to make it right, find her, make sure she's alright. Let her know you're sorry, and that she means something to you, if not everything.

So you leave your flat, and walk a couple of blocks to a near by flower shop and pick up her favorites, you've done this so many times, the flower girls know your name by heart, and the type of flower Emily prefers. You pay quickly, but not without a comment from the flower girl informing you that you're her best customer, and if it wasn't for you, she's be out of business, she was joking of course but it hit you right in the gut. You leave there without saying a word, to lost in your own thoughts.

You arrive at Emily's flat the one she shares with her sister, you knock twice and wait. After a couple of moments past the door flings open revealing, Katie fucking Fitch.

" What do you want?" she asks, her usually bitchiness firmly intact.

It's clear to you that Emily must've not have told Katie about what happened otherwise you'd be unconscious now, with Katie kicking to shit out of you. That makes the knot in your stomach twist even more , knowing that Emily was protecting you from the wrath of Katie, even after all you did to her last night she's still looking after you. "you don't deserve her " you think for the thousandth time. And shake your head out of your thoughts when you realize you haven't answered her question.

" I'm here to see Ems" you say, finally

" She's not here, she left pretty early to the dance studio" She states, huffing, when she see Emily's favorite flowers. " No wonder she went right to her room last night and left early this morning without talking to me. What the fuck did you do this time, you stupid lezza bitch?" she demands angrily.

" Nothing, just thought I'd bring her flowers" you lie, not wanting to deal right now, wanting to find Emily already.

" You love fucking her up, don't you?" she spits and then "I really can't understand what she see's in you" she finishes, angry

" You and me both, Katie, you and me both" you say, already walking away, heading to the dance studio, to find your redheaded beauty, and beg for forgiveness.

After a short train ride, you arrive just outside of the dance studio where Emily practices for upcoming performances, she a contemporary dancer, and amazingly talented. It's just one of the reasons you fell in love with her, her passions for it, was the sexiest thing you've ever seen. It takes you back to the first time you ever saw her.

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><p><em>Cook has been dating one of his shags for a long time now, Effy apparently was her name. This is rare for Cook because like you he didn't date let alone for as long as he has, 2 months to be exact, you've met her once or twice and aside from the all knowing stare and the mysterious smirk, she's seem alright if a little on the emo side. But you're happy for him, you really are. He invites himself over to your flat, but it's welcomed because he brought beer and pizza. you're favorite <em>_combination. He tell's you about how Effy wants him to meet her best friend, Emily, and how he wants his best friend there too. You would have declined if you didn't see the pleading in his eyes, apparently he's a little nervous in case he doesn't get the best friend stamp of approval, so you agree._

_You find yourself on a Saturday night, in front of a theatre for the performing arts, waiting for Cook and Effy to meet you there. You found out a fews day after Cook asked you to come, that this Emily girl is a dancer and you're here to watch her perform, and then after the four of you will go to a club and hang out. Effy was coming to support her friend and figured it was the best time for them all to meet. You really aren't in the mood for crowds right now , or if ever but you'd promised Cook you'd come, and he's all you got, so you keep your word. _

_You decide to have a quick smoke break, you walk so you're near the fire escape on the side of the building where there's a little alley, trying to avoid the people who are shuffling in to grab there seats. Your half way done with your fag when you hear the door open on the side of you so you turn your head a bit. A petite redheaded women, dressed like a ballerina, was huddled over breathing heavily, she must not have seen me because when I ask if she was alright she jumped, startled._

_" Sorry, I didn't know anyone was out here" she says, softly, looking in to your eyes_

_" Needed a fag, and wanted to get away from the crowd" you state, dropping eye contact, putting the fag to your lips , inhaling " you alright, than?" you repeat your earlier question _

_" Yeah... well no... I'm shitting bricks" She giggles, still looking at you, gazing intently." I'm a performing in front of an audience for the first time" she bits her lip._

_ You look at her properly for the first time since she been out here, and notice how beautiful she really is, with her perfectly toned body, highlighted by the tight fitting cloths she wearing, her warm brown eyes and her pouty lips, she truly is a site. _

_"Are you scared they won't like it" you asked, curious _

_she nods, still biting her lips_

_" Well, tell you what, if I see you're doing a shit job, i'll pull the fire alarm to spare you any further embarrassment, deal?" She's smiling now, while you hold out your hand and she grabs it gently, shaking slightly._

_"Deal" She still smiling, looking intently at you._

_" Would you like a fag, might help calm your nerves a bit" you asks, handing her the box_

_" No thanks, I don't smoke" she refuses, shaking her head_

_You're__ both silent for a couple a minute, before you tell her good luck, and head out to see where Cook and Effy are. She looks a bit disappointment that you're leaving but smiles none the less and says she'll see you in there, you throw your hand up in response.  
><em>

_Cook and Effy are just arriving when you walk out from the alley, and you all go in to find your seats. The curtains open and the lights dim in the room, for the start of the show. Effy whispers informing, that the redhead, the girl you were just talking to was in fact Emily, Effy's best friend, the one we were meeting today. As you watch the beautiful redhead perform, you realize just how talented she really is, the way her body moves to the music, the way it sort of takes her away just for a little bit, that's how you are when you paint, so you can relate. She truly is a sight to see, and you can't help but to be in awe of way she moves her body._

_After the show is over and everyone is clapping, you watch her as her eyes scan the crowd, searching, they land on you, and you're given a big warm smile and she blows you a little kiss, and then she's bowing and nodding in thanks to the audience at large. You can't help but feel an attraction to her, she beautiful, but it's not just that, it's her passion, you can tell that dancing is her calling, and you'd be blind not to see how much joy she gets from it. _

_Emily goes backstage afterwards to change and Effy tell Cook and I that she's going to go find her so they can make their introductions and then head out to the club. We wait outside sharing a spliff when the two girls approach us, one with a smirk and the other with a shy smile. Emily's eyes are on you the whole way over._

_" Emily, This is Cook, and his best mate, Naomi" Effy introduces us_

_Emily tears her eyes from me for a moment and shakes Cook's hand, saying how it's nice to finally meet him, and how Effy talks about him a lot and it's nice to put a name to the face, Cook nods politely and say a little of the same. Emily's eyes than return to mine, and she smiled softly at me._

_" And you I've already met... kinda" she giggles, shakes my hand longer than necessary, I smile in return_

_" Yeah...um you did good... I enjoyed watching you dance" you say, awkwardly, socializing and complements not your strong suit, though by the way she blushing and smiling widely, you obviously said something right._

_" Thanks" she rasps, softly " and thanks for the talk earlier, it really helped knowing I had a back up plan in case something went wrong" she smirking now. You remember the deal you made with her and smirk right back._

_" No problem" you say, nodding a bit._

_Cook asks what deal was made, and you said it wasn't important and add that we should get going. So you all end up at the club. grabbing a table in the back, drinking shots, and having a ball. You're a little more drunk than the rest, and you can't help but to tuck a strand of hair behind Emily's ear, she's sitting right next to you the whole night, thighs touching, and she keeps glancing over at you and smiling shyly when you catch her. You're leaning in and she shivers when you whisper in her ear,and with your_ extreme attraction and cloudy mind you end up _saying in your drunken state " You're so beautiful" you slur. she gasps and looks at you intensely for a moment. _

_" You're drunk" she states, smirking, blushing a bit_

_" Yes" you say simply, she smiles, you stand up and climb on the table crawling so you could get to the floor without asking Emily to get up. As your doing so, she shouting your name and asking where you're going, gigging slightly at your silliness. When you land on the floor with only a little stumble, you face Emily, who's watching you intently and say as clearly as you can._

_" Will you dance with me?" you hold out your hand, for her to grab, she laughs slightly in disbelief, shaking her head a bit._

_" After all that effort, how can I say no?" she asks, rhetorically , taking your hand in hers._

_We make it out to the dance floor, and started dancing immediately. We were bouncing around a bit, for a while, just enjoying the beat, until our eyes locked , and she smiles and turns around, backs up and starts danced against you, very suggestively. you put your hand on her hips and she throw her hands around your neck and pulls you in even more. We dance like that for a while._

_When the next song plays, it's nice and slow, you're about to pull away and find your seat, when she turns around, smiling at you, wrapping her arms around your neck, pulling you in. You follow suit by wrapping your own arms around her lower back. It's romantic, sweet, and totally not your style, but you're enjoying it for some reason. She's looking at you intensely , and before you know it she's leaning in. The kiss is soft, passionate, you deepen it by slipping your tongue in to her welcoming mouth. You pull away after a moment and rest your forehead on hers, breathing heavily, when you finally pull away, you look right into the now dilated warm brown eyes, that are looking back at you with, lust, want, and wonder, and you know your own blue eyes mirror hers. So you don't have to think twice before you ask her back to yours. She answers with a little nod of her head, which you find adorable, because she suddenly looks shy again. She seems to bounce between, sexy confident to sweet and shy. _

_You get to you flat and you shag her til the early hours of the morning. It's beautiful, and you couldn't get enough and apparently neither could she. She falls asleep with the her head buried in the crook of your neck,legs and arms wrapped around you. _

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><p><strong>AN - I'm separating this chapter into two parts otherwise it would be too long... So look forward to part two... Let me know what you thought... Hoped you enjoyed.  
><strong>


	3. Forgive me

**A/N - Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own skins.**

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><p>You enter the studio and walk in to hear music playing loudly from the speakers, it's dark, sad, and angry. You know the music Emily dances to is based on her mood, so you decide to watch for a bit, you take a seat in the back, where Emily won't be able to see you. And that's when you see her, the way she's moving, as if the music is carrying her, like her body is not her own at the moment. It's beyond beautiful, but it's also heartbreaking, because there's no joy in her face, usually when she is dancing, her face is so relaxed and peaceful, you can tell just how much she loves it, just how much she belongs to it. But right at this moment it's not there, replaced instead with harsh lines and pain etched across her face, as if she's trying not to cry, trying not to crumble.<p>

The song ends, and she stops moving, looks down, shakes her head and wipes at her eyes. You want to get up then, but you don't you wait. She picks up her towel and her ipod from the dock, and goes backstage, to change back into her street clothes. That when you decide to approach her, so you follow her into the changing room, preparing yourself for how she'll be towards you.

When you get there she's facing away from you fiddling with her lock, she shaking slightly and after a loud sniffle you realizes she crying. You feel sick, like the wind got knock out of you. You take a moment to regroup, just watching her. After a little moment you speak, holding the flowers behind your back.

" Hey, Emsy " you say, softly, not moving from your spot from the doorway.

She snaps her head towards you as soon as she hears your voice, her eyes are all red and puffy, tears on the rim, but you also notice how angry she looks, and that scares you a bit.

" Don't you dare call me that" she spits, walking towards you, pointing her finger at you " Get out." her voice breaks, even though shes trying to be strong.

"Emsy..." you start but she quickly cuts you off, shoving you roughly against the door, smashing the flowers at bit

" I said don't fucking call me that, you fucking prick" she yells " you don't get to treat me like that, and then act like nothings the matter, like everythings fine, like you didn't treat me like a trash last night, like I was nothing to you." she's crying now, full on tears

You don't know what to do, you panic slightly, so you pull the crush flowers from behind your back and present them to the sobbing girl in front of you.

" I've got you these" you say " Daffodils, your favorite " you force a smile, feeling useless in the moment.

You know that was the wrong thing to do when she gets this look in her eyes, one of pure fury. She grabs the flowers from your hands and she starts hitting you with them anywhere she could, as hard as she could.

" YOU FUCKING PRICK, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!" She screaming at you, while you're blocking your face with your arms, trying to avoid the swings.

" Ems...fucking... STOP..." you shout, that's when she throws what's left of the bouquet at you and storms away towards the lockers fiddling with the lock again.

" You really don't care about me at all, do you? I'm just a shag to you, right?" she's says so lowly, voice breaking painfully, it breaks you up inside, for her to even think that way, let alone express it. You walk up behind her, wrapping your arms around her waist, she tries to resist, but only for a second before she lets you, and leans into it, sniffing softly. " I just...I love you, Naomi... so fucking much ...but you... you play with my heart like it's your favorite toy, always fucking me about...

" Ems.." you trail off when you look down over her shoulder and see the bruises on her wrist, you pull away than, feeling like you've been punched in the gut, light headed, your heart beating wildly, you did that to her, in a moment of rage you physically abused her. You wanna cry and you want to hurt yourself the way you hurt her. You'd destroy anyone who would ever laid a hand on her, but you were the one to do it, do that. You're disgusted with yourself.

She turns around at the lost of contact, looks at you strangely, until she sees what you're looking at, she quickly pulls down her sleeves to cover it. You fall to your knees in front of her, grabbing her wrist gently, lifting the sleeve back up, kissing the bruises softly.

" I'm so fucking sorry, Ems" you whisper, wrapping your arms around her thighs, hugging her. " I never meant to...to fucking... i didn't..."

You couldn't even say it out loud, she could see that, so she kneeled down too, grabbing your cheeks making you look her in the eyes.

" I know, its okay " she's comforting you, sees how much pain you're in seeing her like this, and you can't help but think how fucked up this is. The fact that after all you did, she comforting you. Just shows what a wonderfully kind person Emily is,and how much she loves you and worst how unworthy you are of her.

" It's not okay, Ems..." You pull away from her, standing up, feeling sick again.

" Baby, I know you didn't mean it, i'm fine, it doesn't even hurt." she smiles at you, reaching out to you, but you pull away from her. "Come here " she says when you keep your distance.

" No, I'm gonna go" You say, you're emotionally shutting down, protecting her from you. You have no right to be around her, breathe the same air as her, you're a monster and should be treated as such.

" No you're not." Emily says firmly " you are staying here, and we are going to talk about last night, don't you dare run away from me, Naomi."

" I can't be here right now, Please... I'm sorry" you say weakly, turning to leave

" Naomi you stop right now.." she yells until Effy appears in the doorway moving aside for you to get out.

" Let her go Ems" Effys says, uninterested

You are already out the door before Effy finish her sentence and you walk quickly needed to get away, you here from a distance Emily calling your name and her struggling as if Effy is holding her back from you, and your grateful for that even though it's obviously not for your benefit. She's protecting Emily, and you're glad.

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><p>You find your self in a club with Cook, after downing 7 shots, you on your 8th waiting for the little pills he slipped you to kick in, you look down at your phone and you see 22 miss calls and 35 texts all from Emily, you put your phone away and sigh, that's when Cook finally asks.<p>

" you alright?"

" fine, thanks" you slur, drunkly

" you sure about that Blondie?" he pushes, concerned " is this about Emily" he continues

" what... How you'd.. Did effy tell you?" you questioned, nervously

" tell me what mate, what's going on with you and Emily?" He asks confused, obvious effy didn't say anything, if she even knows everything, but based on earlier she defiantly knew something was up.

" we had a fight, or rather I was a twat again" you say shamefully, leaving out the full story, too disgusted with yourself to even voice it. " look I don't really feel like talking about it"

Just as you finish your sentence a beautiful brunette comes to sit next to you at the bar. In your drunken and high state you turn your head and look her up and down noticing how hot she really is. she leans in to your ear.

" dance with me?" she whispers, sexily

You turn to Cook with a smirk and he gives you a warning look as to say ' don't do it noams' but it's to late.. you're to fucked up to see reason, plus you are extremely destructive and dont aways do what you think is right. She's dragging you to the dance floor and once there she begins to grind on you, you know it wrong but you lean in to it, enjoying the sensations, her touch is intoxicating, although it doesn't really compare to a little redhead not to far from your mind.

you start to get into, not even knowing where you are anymore those pills you took being stronger than you thought. You're trailing kisses down her neck now, grabbing her Tits from your place behind her, hearing her moan loudly, turning you on greatly, your mind wonders to the redheads and you imagine its her you're dancing with, but it's not and this becomes clear when you're roughly yanked away from the entangled body, and a flash of red hits you senses.

' oh shit ' you think


	4. I love you

**Hope you enjoy and thank you very much for commenting!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own skins**

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><p>" EMSY! " You yell, smiling drunkenly, with half lidded eyes, way off your face to recognize the pure fury and hurt that is radiating off the redheads face at the moment, She standing in front of you with red and puffy eyes, probably from crying earlier and her eyebrows are narrowing scarily at you.<p>

" Who the fuck was that! " she snaps, viciously at you, shoves you a bit, you lose your balance for a moment and you're as high as a kite, so you really aren't taking in all that she is saying or the anger in her voice.

" I never really got her name, if you know what I mean?" you smirk, shoving her playfully, realizing too late that there really is no humor in talking like that to your girlfriend, and that becomes apparent when you get a swing to the face, and you stumble back a little before you catch your footing, everything's a bit out of focus but you zoom on to Emily with a stunned expression. " Did you just fucking punch me, Ems!" you ask flabbergasted, Emily's done a lot of violent things during our fights, she's thrown things at me, shoved me, even slapped me, but she's never done something quite like that.

You see in her face she is just as surprised and she runs up to you a moment later cradling your face.

" Oh my god, baby, I'm... Fuck sake, I don't know what came over me, are you okay?" she's regarding you with such care and tenderness now, and studying your face to make sure there isn't any real damage. " Come on, let's get you home, I'll clean you up, Okay?

You nod your head, it doesn't even hurt but you want to go home anyway, home with Emily sounds great right about now. You wrap your arm around her shoulder and she wraps hers around your waist, and you make your way out of the club and home.

By the time you arrive to your flat you are almost passing out in Emily's arms, and if she wasn't holding you up, you're pretty sure you would fall. She gets you on the bed and starts to remove your shoes, than your jeans. She than tucks you into bed and than leaves the room a moment only to come back with a wet rag, She's crying softly as you begin to dose off, wiping away the blood that has dried on your face, while lightly stroking your hair. Just before you drift off to sleep, Emily breaks the silence.

" Naoms?" She says, softly

" Hmm?" you respond, loving the feeling of her hands through your hair.

" You didn't really fuck her, did you?" she asks, lowly her voice breaking a bit, scared of your answer.

" Who?" you ask, not remembering the girl from earlier. Though this seems to anger Emily.

" The one you were fucking groping, you prick!" Emily snaps at you, her angry from earlier return full force.

" Sorry" you weakly offer " and no, I didn't, Okay? I wouldn't. "you say, firmly.

" So that's where you draw the line is it? " She states,still pissed " You'll grope another girls tits, but fucking her is out of the question, huh?"

" Emily..." you start, but don't get to finish..

" No, Naomi, just fucking... you don't get to do that, alright?" she says, seemingly very frustrated and upset " Whenever I bring up any sort of commitment, you either change the subject or just start fucking me... and I.. I always let you.. because I can't lose you, okay? I love you so fucking much it hurts and I'm always scared that if I push you hard enough you'll just leave me, and I wouldn't... No I couldn't live without you.. Okay?" You nod, sobering up a bit, under the seriousness of it all. Emily never really ever stands up to you and it's new territory and you don't really know how to react.

" So we need to talk about it, I need to know where I stand with you, because you already know where you stand with me" She half smiles at you when you nod with agreement.

"Okay" you say, dumbly

" Okay? " She double checks.

" Okay." You reply, sleepy

It's quiet for a moment after that , she's smiling a teary smile at you, she seems so relieved. You finally break the silence.

" I love you, you know that? " you smile, goofily at her.

That's when you hear her start to sob, you open your droopy eyes a bit wider, and that's when you notice it a happy sob, because there is a hint of a smile, and it further proves your point when she jumps on you, straddling you and kisses you all over your face. You feel the wetness on your cheeks from her tears. She giggling now.

" You know that's the first time you've ever said that to me? " She's beaming above you. Sniffling from all the happy tears.

" I know " You smile, back and then she leans down and kisses you with so much passion it makes you light headed.

" I didn't even realize how much I needed to hear you say it, but this is the best feeling in the world " She laughs, joyfully.

" You've always know though, haven't you? " You say, after a while.

" Always. " she leans down again and kisses you sweetly. " You can't get anything past me, Campbell, when will you learn that? " She said teasingly, biting her lip.

" You think you know me so well, do you? you joke, and notice her grow serious.

" I do." she says, firmly " I think I know you better than you know yourself, Naoms." You narrow your eyebrows at her in thought.

" Yeah, you might be right about that " You say, as she gives you one last kiss before laying on you, resting her head on your chest. Which you're grateful for because you feel your eyes getting heavier and heavier with each moment. You wrap your arms protectively around her as she cuddles impossibly closer to you, kissing her forehead.

" I love you " She says, in a sleepily rasped voice. You smile.

" And I love you " You say, and you feel her smile into your chest as she hugs you a little tighter.

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><p>The next morning you wake up in the same position you fell asleep, only now her legs are tight around yours, like she was afraid you'd get away if there wasn't anything keeping you down. You feel lucky that Emily is such a deep sleeper as you pull out of her death grip she has on you and slip out of bed. The moment you stand up you feel a bit dizzy, head pounding.<p>

You look over at the bed and see her laying there so peacefully. You end up staring for a bit before you start to feel a bit creepy and walk to the bathroom to wash your face. You regulate the water and throw some on your face, looking up into the mirror. You do a double take at the large bruise taking up your features. ' _what the fuck_ ' you think. Not having a clue how you got that. Come to think of it you don't remember much of anything last night. It's all a bit of a blur after meeting Cook. Which then makes you wonder how the redhead ended up in your bed.

After finishing washing and drying your face, you walk back into the bedroom and get changed, noticing the redhead had yet to wake up, your curiosity at what happen last night starting to get to you as you try to think and come back empty. Though you soon decide it's best not to ask, counting yourself lucky that she ended up here somehow.

You work your way in to the kitchen, needed some water, grabbing the first cup you find on the counter, ignoring the smudges on it, too hungover to give a toss. After taking your last sip, you feel thin warm arms wrap around your body, you smile and lean in to it. It feels nice, comforting, only Emily feels that way.

" Good morning, my love. " she rasps, nibbling on your ear.

" Hmmm, morning beautiful. " you say, sweetly, whatever you did last night, it's clear she's forgiven you.

" Would you like some breakfast, baby?" She asks, kissing your neck softy.

" I could go for some pancakes. " You respond, turning around in her arms to kiss her properly, she gasps as soon as you do.

" Naoms, your eye! " She touches it gently but it still hurts like a bitch so you finch away. " Oh baby, I'm so sorry, let me get you some ice."

Emily runs over to the freezer and grabs some ice, while you go sit down on the couch. She comes back with a bag of peas, and a sorry expression on her face. She sits on your lap and puts the peas carefully on your eye, so not to hurt you.

" I'm so sorry, Nai. " She pouts, kissing your bruise than putting the ice back on. Which is the cutest thing you've ever seen, so you smile at her.

" For what? " You ask, jokingly, "It's not like you're the one that did this to me." you smile, assuming she really wasn't the one to do this. Emily narrows her eyes.

" What? " She asks, creating some distance between us, stiffing up. You're very confused about the demeanor change but carry on anyway.

" I said you don't have to apologize for something you didn't do, Ems. " You smile, pulling her arm down with the ice pack to give her a quick kiss.

She's still looking at you strangely, as if searching. She pulls back a little bit more, pulling the ice pack away from your eye.

" Who did do that to you than, Naomi? " She asks, studying your features. You're not sure what to say, without her knowing that you have no idea, so you panic slightly. Whatever you said last night to get her back, you've forgotten, and you're not sure that Emily would like that very much.

" I didn't tell you?" You ask, not looking her in the eye while you scoot her off you, so you can get up. Trying to runaway from the conversation, knowing it won't end well.

" No, you didn't " She's say, calmly, too calmly for your liking. She crossing her arms now, looking intensely at you.

You walk over to the fridge again, opening it to avoid her line of stare.

" Are you making pancakes, or should I pick some up?" You ask, trying to change the subject. " I'm ravished " you force a laugh.

She squinting at you now, walking towards you slowly, pinning you against the counter top. She leans in, kissing you firmly, pulling back to look you directly in the eyes.

" I love you " She says, softly, never loosing eye contact. I smile, and lean in to kiss her like I aways do when she says that. She lets me, but when I pull back there are tears welling up in her eyes, and just as one drips out, she shoves me away.

" You don't remember last night at all, do you? " She rasps, quietly, wiping at her eyes, putting distance between us, not looking me in the eyes.

" Of course I do, Ems." You lie, because you see she's getting upset, and you hate it, but that seems to turn her sadness in to angry in one swift second.

" YOU FUCKING LIAR! " She screams, picking up the frozen pea bag, throwing it at you. I try to dodge it, but not fast enough as it hits me on the shoulder.

" What the fucking fuck, babe ?! " You look up, holding your shoulder, surprised.

" You're a fucking prick, you know that? " She says, angrily. " How fucking stupid do you think I am?! " she snaps at you.

" Emily... " You try to start but she cuts you off.

" I was the one that hit you, do you remember that? " She asked, fuming.

" What?.. Why would you do that? " You ask, not thinking what you might be bringing to light again.

" BECAUSE NAOMI, AS I WAS FUCKING WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU, SEARCHING EVERY FUCKING PUB YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YOU WERE HAVING A GOOD OLD JOLLY TIME WITH YOUR DIRTY HANDS ALL OVER SOME FUCKING SLAGS TIT, YOU BLOODY FUCKING PRICK!" She scream, shoving me as I step towards her. Than she storms off towards my bedroom. Wiping at her eyes violently.

" Emily?.." You follow her into the bedroom where you see her gathering all her stuff, throwing on her skirt. " Emily? " you call again. "Ems!" you grab her arm, which she yanks away.

" WHAT! " She asks, angrily

" I'm sorry " you say, weakly. She chuckles, unkindly. Going back to grabbing her things. Then she stops and turns to face you.

" You told me you loved me last night " She says, sadly, defeated " Do you remember that? "

You shake your head, deciding there is no point in lying at this point, her tears begins to fall as she looks down and she shakes her head.

" I was so happy to hear you say it for the first time, I didn't even think about the fact you were pissing gone." she says, quietly, still crying softly.

" Emily.." You call, but don't know what to say so you just look at her. She's looking right back a you.

" Just say it." She says, gently

" Say what?" You ask, confused.

" Tell me you love me. " She almost begs.

It was a simple demand, one that shouldn't be hard, one that should just fly off your tongue. And you know more than anything that you do, that you love Emily with all your heart. But in that moment, in the sober light of day, you couldn't say it. Your heart started pounding wildly, the room started to feel smaller, you started to feel calmly. As easy as it should be, it was the hardest thing in the world at that moment, so you stay quiet. Looking at her heartbroken expression, as she realized you had no plans to talk.

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><p>' <em>I love you<em> ' You say over and over to yourself as you sit on a stool, adding darker and darker colors on to your painting, until you're staring at a black canvas, and you think that must be what you're heart looks like. Black.

Emily's been gone hours now, leaving without some much as a look. Your pure hatred for yourself doesn't surprise you, how you can't just be like everyone else, how you can't look in to your lovers eyes and tell them how much you love them. How it pains you to even think about it. You know what made you this way, or rather who. You remember this particular person no matter how hard you try to forget. This person who made you believe that people are evil, who made you believe that you were worthless. Who took your innocents away, and forced you to look at the world through their dark eyes. The person who when you look in the mirror every morning, you can see parts of them, and it makes you sick. The person who invades the sweetest dreams, and turns them into nightmares. The person you fear most in this world...

Your Father..

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><p><strong>AN: More to come about Naomi's father.. In this story Naomi's father raised her, and I'm going to explore that, we're going to find out what shaped Naomi into who she is. And maybe she's finally going to open up to poor Ems.. While she sober this time! Please review and let me know what you thought!**


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